So if you follow my Facebook you know right now at this moment I am bored. What’s the remedy? Well, a new blog of course. Since I wasn’t planning on this I figure I would talk about what’s on my mind right now. That’s right, if you guess feelings then you would be correct, YAY you don’t win anything though…except the chance to read the rest of this blog. YAY.
I find myself completely lost at thirty five years old. I’m jobless for the first time in over fourteen years. Now this last part is something I have hid from the online community for a while so if you didn’t know, now ya do. The short answer is my company relocated to another state. The answer requires me to drink a few beers. Other things have happened that makes the situation a little more shittier than it probably should be but that is neither here nor there.
I have so many feelings going on in my head that it’s overwhelming at times. Scared, Sad, Lost, Alone, Happy. Oh I know that last one probably threw you off, yeah it does me too. There are probably more emotions than that because it doesn’t seem like its that many to keep track of. The alone part is the one that bothers me. Now don’t get me wrong I have friends, dear friends that mean the world to me and help make this world a little better but I still seem to be by myself inside my head. I wish I didn’t feel like this but its the reality that some people don’t want to see. Other people think I should do this or I should do that. Well guess what, they don’t know what the right answer for me to do is and should probably not judge me for the actions I take.
The thing that sucks is there is not a “how to get out of this shitty situation book” for me to read. If there was I would be all over it. Trust me on that. I am trying to think long term and am making the best decision for me, no one else. i know, I know, I’m a greedy S.O.B.
Yes, there are short term easy answers for me to do but that is not going to help me in the long run. I need long term, short term does me no good at this point. If I plan on keeping my house that is a very long term plan. i don’t need pity off this information I give you. Pity does no one including me any good. I am trying to figure out the best plan for me, if it works we shall see. I am waiting on a phone call or a letter to decide what the next phase in my life will be.
Until then, these feelings I have are at an all time high, yay for me. At times things get a bit overwhelming but I try to stay positive which Ironically a lot of people around me have no idea how to do this. Oh well for them, I like looking ahead, its a lot brighter than looking behind me.
Just had to get some of that off my mind and kill the boredom monster, it help a little:)